Ahh… boundaries. That elusive line of dignity that admins desperately try to enforce and cling to remind us of our self-worth. Too real? Yea… for me too. So let’s get into this week’s topic – boundary setting.
We are all different people with different preferences, so I cannot (and will not) speak on behalf of all admins. I only speak of my own zone of comfort. But, regardless of preference, having the ability to enforce our own professional boundaries allows any admin to better assess and manage any situation.
For me, I like clarity, healthy boundaries, and a separation between work and home. The key is to start to implement these rules from the beginning and I stay consistent with them. Here are some rules I care deeply about.
- Do not give out my personal cell phone number, except to my direct report, unless I intend to get to know you on a personal level.
- I will not link my personal cell phone to my work email.
- I will not check or answer emails after I leave the office or on the weekend, unless I’m officially working.
How to Set Boundaries
There are many sources and articles that make it sound like you should walk in your manager’s office and demand what you deserve. This is when your saintly manager positively responds to your demands, as if the thought never crossed their mind before. Like they were just waiting for you to say it, and now that you’ve said it, “poof” it will be done.
In a perfect world, a lot of the tips are really great, and if your manager isn’t a total (or half) douche. Read up on them!
However, the reality is, that is typically not how it works.
Not only are many admins (at least most of the ones I know, including myself) uncomfortable with the possibility of creating tension in the workplace, but there’s also the very real and possible fact that their manager is simply the worst (not all of them, but…).
Admins often feel like we are speaking from a disadvantaged position, especially in comparison, to our peers, which could very likely not be an exaggeration of the truth.
If you’re anything like me, you might be willing to have these conversations, but you don’t want to have a “come to Jesus” moment every time you need to set a boundary.
And, you shouldn’t have to.
I propose an alternative route that has served me well – most of the time. I’m going to talk about changing your perception and perhaps your goal(s) of the job.
Bear with me as these are not normal suggestions.
Adjust your Perception of Boundaries
Consider everyone you work as your client.
Yea, I know what you’re thinking. “I already do.” But I mean a brand new client you’ve never seen before every single time.
When you consider everyone you work with as a new client, it forces you to treat everyone with a level of professional customer service, and more importantly, distance.
When I say everyone, I mean every ??one??, unless vetted by yourself. That includes your manager, colleagues, strangers, and fellow admins.
Treating everyone as a new client could change how you approach everything, and if you really think about that, that’s what many of your colleagues and managers are subconsciously wanting from you – a level of amazing service without the history.
And for you, well, just like any company, there are:
- Hours of operation
- Product/service for hire
Hours of Operation
You have hours of operation just like other companies. Setting your hours is actually something you can (and should) establish before you start the position if possible, or not much later than that. Your work schedule is one of the most crucial boundaries to set.
In your interview, asking, “This job sounds very interesting and demanding. Could you give me an idea of what my typical work hours/day will be?” “Is there an established process to address what happens should the position demand more of my time than we are originally expecting?” “How important is work-life balance at [insert organization name here]?”
Hopefully, they will be truthful, (if they themselves even know the answer) so you can feel out if position is a good fit.
Let’s say you’re already in the job and you feel like you can talk to your manager about your workload. You can still treat them as a client through your phrasing.
For example, “I am really happy you like the work that I’m producing, and I’m really grateful to be working with you/the team/the department, but I’m concerned that the workload is too much for my normal business schedule. I would really like to be able to complete the project with the quality it deserves, but I do have to get home. Could we either extend the deadline, approve overtime temporarily, or hire another person (if it’s long term)?”
That is customer service. You are addressing their needs, you’re communicating your needs, and are proactively offering solutions to the problem.
Will it work every time? No. I just prefer this method because I feel as though I’m being true to myself by expressing my concerns in a way that isn’t too abrasive (even if I REALLY WANNA BE).
I pair this with:
- Providing only my direct report (manager) with my personal cell phone number.
- Kindly telling colleagues, should they ask for my number, I’d prefer not and if it’s an emergency after hours, my manager can always reach me.
- Never checking/answering my emails after I’ve left the office and not adding my work email to my phone.
Product/Service for Hire
Newsflash: WE ARE ADMINS.
That’s what I want to scream in people’s faces when they want me to CONSISTENTLY be more without sufficient pay increase(or any), general acknowledgment, and/or title promotion.
Therefore – I want to scream this a lot.
I still struggle with this one, to be honest. I think most companies just don’t see the need to (or want to) increase an admin’s pay even if the admin adds certifications and new skill sets under their belt.
Setting these boundaries is difficult because of the nature of our job. If you read my post, “Other Administrative Duties as Necessary,”you’d know that how hard it is to really define most admin roles.
As an overachiever, I am always learning and doing something new to enhance my skill set, so not getting any monetary payback for increasing my workload using my new skill sets is frustrating.
When a client asks a company to perform a service that isn’t typically on the menu, you charge for it, unless you choose not to. Problem is, for admins, it is pretty much assumed that we should never charge for it. It’s just part of the service package of an admin.
Kick rocks.
I have failed many times in battles like this, and only succeeded once.
So, in an effort not to “exterminate them,” I found a silver lining.
Use Them as Guinea Pigs
Hear me out. There are not too many upsides to the “gray area” of our jobs, but this is definitely one. There must be something you’re interested in learning more about. Learn it.
Make a list of a bunch of random things that you could “try out” at work and then learn them. Become an Excel expert, learn to program, graphic design, or SEO! The WORLD IS YOURS!
I read somewhere (probably Reddit) where someone was talking to their friend who worked in HR outside of business hours. The HR friend advised, “a job should pay you twice: in experience and pay.”
So, for me, if I am not ready to find another job, I will try to learn new things to “try.” Even for something as mundane as taking meeting minutes. If that wasn’t in my job description, and they made it “part of my job,” (even if I specifically asked during my interview), I would find a way to make it a learning experience.
For this example, shorthand is a dying practice, but you could put it on your resume. It is likely that someone would see “shorthand” and “admin” and think you’re genuine “bee’s knees” of admins. But, in reality, you only learned shorthand, with all its many flaws, just cause you were curious.
The key is the difference of the goal. Your goal becomes to always make yourself better for the next job, and in the meantime, you look like a go-getter by “learning more and trying,” instead of fighting a lost cause.
Clients don’t want to hear you complain, but will think you’re the cream of the crop for “being flexible and adapting” to them.
TO BE CLEAR, I’m not telling you to not fight for what you feel you deserve. If you feel comfortable and/or secure in your position, GO FOR IT! However, more often than not, many admins don’t have that freedom or job security to do that.
Recap for Setting Boundaries:
If you can speak up, do it. But, if you aren’t or don’t feel you’re able to defend yourself, then this is what I do to make the most of a situation while setting boundaries.
- Change the perception
- Be consistent.
- Set expectations from the interview
- Use them as guinea pigs.
Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash
Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash
